Relationship Cord Healing


Our relationships define us. Relationships with other people, with the world around us – and with ourselves.

Every interaction with someone generates an exchange of energy. This exchange happens primarily through the RELATIONSHIP CORDS.

These Relationship Cords normally go from the chakra of one person to the chakra of the other. These cords literally have the shape of a rope made up of many fibres. A energy fibre is created whenever there is an interaction, communication or shared experience.

Healthy, caring interactions create fibres that are brightly coloured with positive emotions. The energy flows equally between the people involved.

Fibres that can be mis-shaped or twisted with dull stagnant colours, are created by any negative intention, or projected emotion towards another person. These can become entangled with co-dependency hooks and transference.

Relationship cords contain the memory of every event. Therefore in reality most long term relationships carry a mix of all different stories and emotions. The cords are made up from a variety of different fibres that create a unique flavour. Love, anger, joy, sadness, fear, hatred, jealousy, caring and compassion can all be present.

The more long lasting or intimate a relationship is, the stronger will be the relationship cord. Therefore the greater an influence people will be on each other.


Relationship Cords

Relationship Cords



Relationship Cords and Transference

The formative childhood relationships that we had with our parents and family create our first relationship cords. This creates our basic patterns of transference.

We find out from our early experiences that the different ways we behave will evoke different responses. So we believe that behaving in a certain way will give us the love and attention that we need. This is the process of the ego forming as we discover that most of the time love is conditional. Therefore in order be accepted we need to regulate our behaviour in the particular way that is approved of in our family culture.

In the same way that water flows down the path of least resistance, energy will tend to flow down the already established route. So when we meet a new person there will be a tendency for the energy to flow down the existing parental cord. This creates expectations, and evokes habitual patterns of transference and defence in the energy field.



Relationship Cord Healing

Because these patterns of transference and dysfunction are found in the structure of the Relationship Cords they can be worked with directly with Energy Healing. As we heal the formative relationships with family, the tendency for transference becomes less. Then present time relationships move into more healthy and loving mutuality.

This healing involves first cleaning the any old toxic emotional energy from the cord. Then ‘combing’ the tangled fibres into a healthy form. This helps to clear the way to bring the relationship into love and truth.



Relationship Cord Dynamics

In most situations our ego self will try to find ways to control the relationship in an attempt to keep our wounds safe. Push, Pull and Stop are the different forms of defence that our ego uses, while Allow is from an undefended place.

Pushing our energy onto someone else has the effect of trying to dominate or overwhelm the other. Being ‘on top’ and in control. It is competitive and needs to be better – cleverer, stronger, quicker. The belief is that best form of defence is attack. Pushing energy is what happens when we are intimidating or aggressive.

Pulling energy is an attempt to control through manipulation. Sucking on the energy of the other person by being needy, or trying to get sympathy or support. Playing the part of the underdog or disadvantaged. Being ‘less than’ and child like in order to evoke the protection of the other person.

Stopping the flow of energy between people is a way to defend ourselves by putting up a block and disconnecting. It is like folding your arms and turning your back, or retreating into a cave. We are safe when we are separate, but it can be a lonely place.

All of these modes of defence will in turn evoke a defensive response from another person. A push could get a push back, or a pull get a stop in response etc.

However the fourth way of exchanging energy is by being in Allow. This is when there is no attempt to control the energy, and allowing things to simply be as they are. There is no judgement, and everyone is seen as being lovable. When we are undefended we encourage the people around us to also be undefended as they feel safe to simply be as they are.

This is the place that a healer holds as they must be undefended to allow the healing energy to come through.



Read about other Energy Healing Techniques…